today started off well but ended off bad. not very bad, but bad.

have you ever felt like youre a lousy friend cos seeing your friends sad and you cant do anything doesnt make you feel any better at all? yes im feeling it now. i guess nobody understands how much we want it. the passion for the game, the amount of time we put into trainings. we do not just want it to end in 3 A division games. i can understand it. cos after the first match, the tears just rolled down thinking that things may not be optimistic. thinking that our journey may just end in 3 games. i can imagine how sad the basketball girls are feeling now, especially clar. and also to the hockey guys, who have lost their first game and drew the second one. the third one is so crucial. seriously i dont know what i can do. words of encouragement may seem easy to say but it all boils down to themselves. i really hope they can pick themselves up. like immediately to face the match on wednesday. cos its so not the right time to give up now. ive seen them train so hard. (yes definitely harder than the girls) and how much they've improved. their team spirit. i really really hope they will get into the second round cos they totally deserve it.

so much about worrying about others. i can barely solve my own problems.

sucks to know that no matter how much i say i dont care, i still care.

i feel like eating oreo suddenly after looking at the oreo advertisement!

wah i feel so pig. today was spent sleeping and eating and watching tv. feels so shiok but so guilty. i shall do my work later.

anyways, we lost to vj 3-0. we didnt do too badly i guess. i think the team really persevered till the very end, especially the mids and defenders cos we practically didnt have any chance to attack. could see that they were very tired cos of the blazing sun. sis came down to support but yeah, she said its boring. haha.

went to Island Creamery after and she treated me to ice cream while she had mudpie. waited for her boyfriend to come pick us up and we went for dinner at Din Tai Fung at j8. (thank god for his car. but you bet i was such a BIG light bulb). so we had dinner and suddenly i got captain's message to say that theres no training today. so i raised my hand and said "yay no training!" then suddenly a waitress came over and asked if i need to add anything. oh man damn xia suay. hahahaha. she thought i wanted to order something cos previously i raised my hand very high up cos she couldnt see. LOL.

oh yay i can finally change my grip!! i promised to change my grip if we can into the next round. and yeah, we are in top 6 now. its gonna be so much tougher now cos the other teams are really strong. but we'll do our best (:

thing, hope youre coping well over there. know that its kinda stressful. if youre feeling stressed, go eat ice cream! haha. my best way of relieving stress (:

im tired. very tired. i cant wait for everything to be over so that i can just spend one day sleeping. i cant concentrate nowadays in class and my studies are going haywire. i dont like to give myself excuses like im tired cos i know everyone else is. sigh. i need to get back on track. but every other day ill be worrying about hockey and whatnots. SO STRESSED!!!

recently, my classmate's mum passed away. felt really sad for him. and i must say hes really, really brave. went down to his house for the wake yesterday after the match. he lost alot of weight but hes really strong. he told us the story of how his mum passed and i felt a tinge of nostalgia. its exactly how i felt one year ago. i know its gonna be hard on him to get over it, especially when its the closest person to him. and being the eldest son at home, and having to face A levels this year, i hope he will continue to stay strong, and get good results and make his mum proud.

sigh. i dont know why this year is full of unhappiness i feel like just giving up sometimes. really dont want to care about anything and just shut myself from the world.

tomorrows the big match against vjc. i hope we can play our best. or rather, I can play my best cos i played like shit yesterday. dont want to feel like ive let the whole team down again. i want to do my team proud. YES. CAN DO IT, MUST DO IT. WANT IT, GET IT.

I remember thing once said before, "Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game". Tomorrow's the big day. No doubt, I'm scared. But I'm going to tell myself I can, cause it's now or never.

WE CAN DO THIS. GO AJ HOCKEY!

My Crazy 18th

I think this post is like long overdue.

My beloved course mates pre celebrated my birthday for me on 6th April.

I was suppose to meet veron at 7pm to go for class. When i arrived, i walk past them without realising. I only saw Rasyid and he asked me why am i there and he said that he is meeting his friend and i didn't suspect anything. It is quite common to meet friends at Plaza Sing right? I always do that, so is understandable that i didn't know. Although i have extremely no idea how i manage to walk past them without realising.

The group was damn huge and attracting so much attention, i must be blind!

The plan was to make me play station games at dhoby ghaut area! I didn't expect myself to be 'prank', i thought only i prank people la! It was a crazy but memorable birthday celebration.

The game started when Miss Veronica Woon took out her camera and video after the class, i look unglam to the max, i swear!

Then she shuff me a card that states

' Dear Miss Eighteen, you are hereby cordially invited to participate in a journey whereby light is a source of friendship. Mission: your quest is to find 16 of your friends who will be hiding, given the clues, you're suppose to find them and it starts NOW!!'

On the card, there are doodles of them and their 'famous quote'! =)

First station: I was suppose to ask the whole class to sing me a birthday song because is my birthday. But everyone left before veron gave me the card. So is a bonus, i got my next station clue card!

It took me one million years to figure out where is that place. Anyway it was at Hotel Rendezvous with three of them hiding at the car park entrance. Second station: Dance for 1 minute at the car park entrance. I SWEAR THAT WAS DAMN BAD! AND THEY DIDNT GIVE ME ANY MUSIC!

The three innocent looking devils! Second station master starting from left wancheng, jazreel, jaclyn! Veron is my assistant of the day.

Anyway, I still completed my mission and got my second clue card. It was quite easy to guess the place! It was at The Cathay's Starbucks.

Rasyid was my station 3 station master. Third station: Ask 10 person to wish you happy birthday and 5 person to hug you.

I did complete my mission. I ask people in Starbucks and they helped me. Anyway, I hugged someone's boyfriend and someone's girlfriend without realising! While approaching the last table, there were three guys(around our age) at the table, i started talking and they stand up and say 'bye bye. bye bye.' Then i smile, then they sat down, one of the guy hug me, asked for my name, then sang birthday song for me and the whole Starbucks sing along. Franky speaking, it was really sweet for strangers to be so nice. =)
















Next station's clues!

Is at the arcade, with the triple S!
Fourth station: Challenge Sheraine in the machine thingy. It was damn easy!! HAHAHA! She only got 123 and i got 623. No kick man.

Next station is at the MRT station with the scandalous pair! Mission is to take photos with 18 different guys. When i approach someone, that guy look damn serious with a party hat and said' this is not the right time now' I almost laugh out loud. Please la! He was holding a party hat lor!













I think i look like i shamelessly run into THEIR picture when we are taking photo together la!


Proceed to next station!
















A lot of candles leading the way.

















Blowing off the candles...

Moving towards the end of the game.













With them and our cake.

Surprise for Justin too because his birthday is on the 11th and he thought he was only a station master.


























Cake cutting ceremony.















Presentation of birthday 'cards'!














The two birthday girls! He is our class princess, don't ask me why, i forgot.














Group shots!

These are the prizes i collected when i completed my stations. 18 lighters handmade by them to add on to my collection.

7th April

Spend working and after work played mahjong with albert and his friends. =)

8th April

My ex colleague came down to lunch with me and pass me my present. My colleague bought cake from Rive for me and the security guard wish me happy birthday because he saw my IC. Watched Shinjuku Incident after work with Cheng, HK and SM, it was a bloody show! Is not very good for a birthday. *nod head* Came home with HK and he gave me 'flowers' at 11.59pm before the end of my birthday because he promise to appear at my door step at 12.01am to pass me flowers but he didn't. LOL.

9th April

The usuals celebrated for me. =) No pictures of me because is with shirlynn. i look damn round in all the photos. =(

BIG THANK YOU TO ALL THAT WISHED ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. BIG THANK YOU TO ALL THAT WERE THERE FOR ME TO CELEBRATE WITH ME PHYSICALLY OR SPIRITUALLY! =)

*i tried my best to make it look as neat as possible. blogger is irritating!

theres this song that was quite popular some time ago. its called nobody by wondergirls.
look at this video. its the original version

AND LOOK AT THIS!!! the version by wonderbabies!! DAMN CUTE AND FUNNY!!!


HAHHAHA TOTALLY LAUGH OUT LOUD

i cant help it but feel worried for next week's match especially when i know im not prepared at all. supposedly last pitch training yesterday and i certainly didnt perform up to standard. nothing but pissed with myself. cant even stop the ball properly. time is running out and im damn freaking scared. i need some morale booster.

havent been paying attention in class lately. cant concentrate. and it sucks. i still have so much work undone i need to start mugging tomorrow. i dont know how im going to study for chem spa on thursday when monday to wednesday will be spent on hockey.

ARGH STRESSED!!!!!!!!!

i have alot of work undone but i dont feel like doing it today cos i want to give myself a break.

today is a holiday cos yesterday had school funfair which was fun! except that it ended badly but nonetheless, its alright now. so i happily woke up at 10 today. had breakfast/lunch while watching a few episodes of hong kong serial. then went to collect my skirt which i sent for alteration. came home, showered and prepared, then off i went to town!! feels so good to be shopping and it doesnt matter that im alone cos i can do things slowly as i like. (: walked quite abit until i had blisters then i decided to come home early. but stil, i dont feel like doing work.

yesterday's family day was ok. was quite excited since saturday and was glad that it was quite fun!! thanks ziyu and youwen for coming down to support even though you all didnt buy anything from my stall. HAHA. and my hockey mate got dunked!!!!! hohoho. so fun. was desperately trying to clear the coupons so just anyhow bought food.

tomorrow is the start of another boring school week but friday is a holiday again!!!!

7 more days to Adivs. =O

I suddenly feel like blogging. Though school has not been too hard on me, I still find myself feeling down recently. Or maybe that's the reason. It makes me miss everyone. Home, my parents, sisters, bro, my grandma, Heang and of course you guys. I realized so many things have changed in a year and a half's time. So many things became unfamiliar to me when I first came over last April. There are certain things I wish so much I can share but I don't know how to. And that just makes me miss everything and everyone even more.

Imagine the new people and new environment we all have to get used to, sometimes it changes too drastically I wonder what happened to the old familiar ones and I think about it sometimes and I get emo........ like this :(

Shir's online now and I quote her PM, it's not the time to feel this way. It applies to me too but I think there should never be a time to feel this way. Which kind of sucks.

I hope I can keep myself busy enough to stop thinking.

17 days more to start of Adivs

no fried food/no soft drinks. more self-trainings. GOOO!!!!!!

update!

I just got my internet today!!! Yay, but I think I survived pretty okay without it.

School's been great for me! Well at least up till now... actually i think time past really really fast since my school started. I've only got 4 days of school a week (i'm free on thursdays), 18 hours per week........ and i just spotted 2 really, really, really, pretty asian girls in my class. The randomness aside, i'm dead serious!

But it's funny cos now when i'm in school, i see it differently from last year. You know when you're in a different position you just kinda see things not like how you saw it before. Last year i was doing foundations and when i walked into Uni i don't see it like i do now. There's a different feel and aura to it, hahaha. But i'm just trying to enjoy school, the work and everything else. i know it's gonna be tiring, but it's been not too bad so far, so yeah... at least now i've got a better picture of what i'm in for a.k.a what i've gotten myself into. Haa.

By the way i haven't gotten a picture of ziyu's look-alike yet, but i told her about you and she wanted to see ur picture too! And I also know another girl who looks like Elaine (in band and from 4N class, youwen should know her).. so i always hang out with them and it's quite weird cos it feels like i know them but i don't...

So how's everyone? Update, yo! i want to keep going on and on about me haha but i'm quite sleepy. it's 2.22am and i've got class at 9 tomorrow!

why is holiday only one week...):

friday to sunday had hockey camp which was good. it wasnt as tough as i thought and i guess mental strength really works alot. i constantly told myself to give in my best during the camp and not to slack. i think i performed better than usual, which was good for me. friday had match against PJ at CCAB. drew 1-1. wasnt as terrible as the NJ match but wasnt exactly good too. thereafter had dinner at macs at serene centre then returned back to school.

was told to wake up at 7 on saturday. but apparently we all woke up at 5 cos...

ms tay came into our bunk at 5, along with 2 other teachers. on the lights and blew the whistle and showed us this piece of paper. i woke up immediately cos i couldnt sleep well the whole night. gathered at the track. saiful tested our reaction time. changed from pumping position to crunches position to jumping jack position. then ran 3.2/4.8? around the school. all these were done when we havent wash up, which means we havent brush our teeth.

after the run, got back to school and washed up. packed up for pitch training. then had breakfast which was nasi lemak and hot milo. had match review. watched the first half of the much dreaded NJ match. after which, gathered at foyer before heading to NTU. but found out that our cones were lost. made saiful pissed. started with trigger ball at NTU, then warm up and drills. the sun was damn hot everybody were dying. the nasi lemak made my stomach damn uneasy. lavenniah sprained her ankle during 1v1. went back to school for lunch at 2. had match review on second half of NJ match. then it started to rain. went to MPH to play captains ball with a rugby(?!) and some very funny game. there are 2 teams competing. each team is supposed to send their representative(s) to sit in front of the black cloth. when the black cloth is pulled down, the fastest to say the name of the one at the opposite team wins. as usual, being hockey people, we came up with all kind of damn funny variations. especially the guys. super hilarious. then had PT. 4 rounds around lane 7/8. intervals of 200m within 50s(?) for 6 sets. push up, crunches, leg raise, squats. almost couldnt make it at that part. then had pizza for dinner went to wash up thereafter. had movie screening Chak De India in the guys match review room. fell asleep a few times but the movie was overall great. everyone got high at the last part where India, being an underdog, got into the World Cup Finals against Australia. after the movie, had reflections. then a few of us went to have cup noodles. slept at 2 and woke up at 6 on sunday. had breakfast then headed to CCAB for training. couldnt process saiful's instructions fast enough cos i was damn tired. had debrief after training then stayed on to play with some of them. then junyang came so i played with him for awhile. before i got hit by azfar's deflection at the mouth. i was damn worried my tooth will drop out, luckily it didnt. but was bleeding damn badly and there were blood stains on my shirt. super scary experience. thank god there was zhao and azfar there or else i dont know what to do. thanks to the girls and junyang for helping me too. had lunch after bathing at adam road food centre. didnt feel like eating so only had ice kachang. headed home and slept immediately cos i was afraid my dad would see my injury. sad that camp ended on a bad note for me but was glad that camp made me learn a few things. like never to take things for granted, how to work better as a team, how to motivate myself etc. all in all, CAMP WAS GREAT. =D

went to mug at coffeebean on monday. wasnt exactly productive but did a bit of homework. half the time was messaging saiful with sophial and his sms-es are totally lame to the max.

tuesday had math lecture in school, which was totally boring and i ended up doing my chem tutorial. then headed to macs for breakfast and mugged. then had training which sucked cos we had 2.4km run. after that was too lethargic to to anything. reaction was damn slow. my body totally took over my mind. sun was damn freaking hot and i just cant wait for training to end. worse was, there was still the killer triangle and we ran the whole field this time. then did trigger ball. went to j8 for bubble tea after training.

wednesday mugged at coffeebean which was totally unproductive. tried to do chem tutorial. got stucked so shifted to gp. dont understand the passages so decided to nap for awhile. woke up, tried to study econs, got restless and ended stoning. then talked to the girls and went home. ?!?! i didnt do any work at all!!!

thursday had training at NYP. totally tiring. muscle ached. hot sun. ulcer cos of the injury was hurting very badly. couldnt do anything right. sucks to the core.

friday had SL. was ok except the kids can get quite irritating at times. met sis for lunch then went home to bathe and change before meeting junyang for mugging at coffeebean. as usual, i got restless cos my ulcer was hurting damn badly. i cant even move my mouth to talk!! arghhhh. then headed to PS to meet aslam, ziyu and youwen. showed them all my ulcer as meeting gift. and thing, according to ziyu, i should webcam with you to show you my ulcer too. haha! ate at astons then chilled at starbucks.

saturday had Junior World Cup (JWC) technical officials course at Delta. super confusing of what we are supposed to do. after which headed to cathay to mug at starbucks. quite productive. then headed home to meet my sis for dinner/supper at the coffeeshop downstairs. ate prata and roti john. talked quite a bit. (: did i mention shes going US in august? i think im going to miss her so much. ):

and today is the last day of holiday. oh my god. look at how i spent my holiday. totally no fun at all. and homework still not done. ahhhhh!! ok im going to start on my work now. ):

The thought of being a retail and hospitality designer is so nice. But is damn hard to get there.

The blocks just get tougher and i just get weirder. I am like getting more and more immune to all the work load. Every single time when lecturers or my director speak to us about general(as in self-discipline, attitude etc) stuff, they will never ever forget to tell us 'designers don't have a life.' I think is so annoying, that phrase irritates my ear. Sometimes i feel like screaming very loudly into their face ' i do have a life!!!' Why their way of 'motivating' student is so weird? We won't work harder because they say that right? If we do, is like making us even more no-life? Or we suppose to look at it this way, since we already don't have a life, so we should make the best out of it and work even harder? ( i think i can easily achieve another 5000 words if i want to list every single thing that i really want to complain)

The reason for all the nonsense blabbered above is because today is a very bad day. I woke up late, gobble down my breakfast, realise i forget to bring my handphone, missed two bus 72 because is damn packed, fall asleep on the bus, missed my stop, when i start doing my work in the lab, the computer restart on its own, when i doing my work, the programme hang and i didn't save my work, when i want to print my still-have-room-for improvement work, the plotting room got the whole course in the room, went for lecture feeling very dissapointed with myself, assignment brief to let us know more assignments awaiting to buried me alive, lecturer extended the submission time by 3 hours because everyone can't print on time, i waited for 4 hours to print my work, i am late for the extended submission timing, rush off thinking that i am late, took a cab down and realised actually we only need to reach by 8pm and we can actually take train. MY DAY IS SOOOOO EXCITING AND FUN.

Another reason for everything above, i need to rant if not i will explode.

I miss you all and i swear i hate to have different school holidays timing. Whats the fun to have holidays when nobody is having it with you other than your schoolmate that you see everyday (from 9am to 11pm when we chiong assignment)?

Blog people. i want to know whats going on in your life.

i want to sleep now cos im so tired my eyes can close anytime. and theres a match tomorrow and i should rest early cos my flu havent fully recovered. but i need to at least finish three quarter of my chem revision cos theres a test on thursday and i will be reaching home late tomorrow due to friendly. will probably be too tired to study later.

friendly tomorrow with only 11. no substitues. no goalie. but im sure we can do it cos WE WANT TO WIN! yes yes yes. we can totally forget about breathing. forget about being substituted. JUST RUN!!! i havent mentioned my team has lots of injuries recently. which is really bad cos Adivs is just a month away. 2 fractured hands, one with stitch on the head. and many with leg/ankle injuries. im really worried for Adivs yet excited for it. hockey camp this friday to sunday. totally cant wait for it even though there will be madness fitness trainings. but im sure ill have lots of fun with the girls. =D

yesterday ziyu messaged me. hahaha. totally random. sorry i was too tired my eyes were closing or else i could have messaged you longer. we got to meet up soon!

i really hope i wont have lemons throwing at me again cos ive had enough of it. but you know, sometimes when shit happens, you know who are the ones who will always be there for you. and im glad for that. (:

this week have been terrible. was sick and skipped school on monday. and so i missed my physics spa. and also my 2.4 today. madness coughing and running/blocked nose accompanied me every day. not that i like them. it sucks totally cos i cant concentrate when doing things. and my sexy voice made my friends laugh at me.

but i need to thank my friends for contributing packets of tissue to me. not in any order. THANK YOU JANE, SOPHIAL, XIN YI, CHERYL, JOYCE.

and today ended badly but nonetheless, i want to thank people who are always there for me like, JANE, JERYL, JIAXIN and all others who made my day better.

ok now i shall go study. IM SO DEAD.

i finish my last day of block already. next week will be the start of my new block. it is actually quite sad since everyone is having holidays already and next week the school probably will be empty and most canteen will be closed, is very sad to do work in school next month because the school will look deserted and we will need to do assignment plus we will have no food when we are hungry.

i don't know why but i miss you all. =(

*my stupid fingers are damn painful due to bending of wires (is my previous assignment) and there are blisters on my hand. =(

first day im home early this week. feels so good. im gonna take a nap soon.

monday had training till 7 plus then went to watch video. the j1s are starting training already which is good for them. we only had proper training around april last year!! tuesday went to thing's house to eat. then sent her off at the airport. reached home at 10 plus. the bus i took almost knocked a car! scary. yesterday will probably be the most happening day for this week.

had friendly at NTU with PJ, which only started at around 6.40. first 20 minutes was like shit. PJ scored the first goal within 5 minutes and all of us was shocked. the ball ROLLED in and the rest just stood there to watch. i was stunned. i didnt know what the defenders and goalie were doing. the next moment i know. the PJ girls was screaming. my heart sank. i was so sad i felt like i can cry any moment. the rest of the 20 minutes was equally bad. we didnt play well at all. probably because of the new formation which we didnt try before. break after 20 minutes was bad. saiful was frustrated. everyone else was. and im just pissed with myself.

second 20 minutes was much better. i could feel the passion and the drive of the team, wanting to win. good thing, we scored a goal within 5 minutes. we didnt get complacent. we continue to work harder. i could see it. the team's passion. and everyone was putting in their best. even the goalie, whos a j1 and didnt have proper goalie training before the match. she did a wonderful job. totally. we were all impressed. then came a short corner for PJ at the third 20 minutes. then i saw the ball flew. into the net. my heart sank once again. my tears was about to roll out. the PG girls was jumping and screaming again. then saiful said it wasnt counted cos the ball didnt hit the board. you dont know how relieved i felt.

this is properly one of the best match ive played. not in terms of how we played. but the spirit. the game was much faster than the other friendly. there were hardly any substituition. all was tired. but we continued to run after every ball. thats something really worth to be happy and proud of my team. i believe we can make it for Adivs if we continue to work hard. and Adivs is just a month away.

have been lagging very much behind for school work. gonna stay in school to mug tomorrow. and saturday and sunday to make up for it. damn. thats a really pathetic j2 life.

alright im going for a short nap. thing, send us the photos soon once youre free! and good luck for your first year at uni. (:

i am so irritated with myself! i lost my sister's new camera's battery!

my sister told me 'you are damn amazing! i don't know how on earth you can lose a battery?!"

the whole incident is damn weird. i brought the camera to school to take pictures of my work( i using clay to make lamp) so i can do my journal. After working on my clay work, i ask hongkwang (my classmate) to take pictures for me because my hand is damn dirty, then after taking photos, he put it into my bag for me and it was already 11pm, so i pack my bag and went home. After i reached home, i was damn freaking tired so i just went to bed after i bathe. The next morning i overslept, so i bathe, took my bag and run out of the house. The next day after i finish my morning class, i took my bag and went to have lunch. After lunch i went for afternoon class and i ask veron( my classmate) to help me take picture of my completed piece. But when she took my camera she ask me why it is so light and that is when i realise the battery is gone!

my bag was with me all the time if not i will ask my friends to help me look after my bag. CANNOT BE I DROP THE BATTERY RIGHT?! i put the camera into a leather case and i scared i dirty the leather case i still put it inside a pouch. SO how on earth can i drop it? CANNOT BE I NEVER BRING THE BATTERY OUT RIGHT? hongkwang help me take pictures the day before leh! IF i never bring out then how to take pictures?! SO where on earth can the battery be?

If someone stole it, why don't they steal the whole camera? I mean like you take the effort to take out from my bag then take it out from the pouch then pull out from the leather case and open the camera to steal the battery, why not just steal the camera and chances of you getting caught is lower what!

i am damn irritated. Can someone please solve the mystery of the missing camera battery?

p.s: the bloody battery cost 80-90 bucks and i need to get a new battery. =(

today was a very RAHHHH day. i bet cos my period's coming and feel very frustrated. especially when theres physics spa today!! suckssss. did NAPFA today. but didnt do 2.4. sucks sucks sucks. the rest of the team did well for 2.4! all A!! damn proud of them man. didnt have training after that. im so tired to study for maths test tomorrow.

anyway im supposed to start diet again today. but its so hard! i always eat dinner at 9 plus when theres training. how to not get fat?! ive decided not to eat rice on days without training. today i ate alot!! and im going to cut down on sweet drinks. ok i can do it!!!

ruihong's birthday

argh im so slack. supposed to be studying but i feel so tired despite the 3 hours nap in the afternoon.

went to crash the j1s orientation yesterday and i totally cant stand the councillors. they are like so rigid and inflexible. made the orientation so damn boring and most of the time we were just zi high-ing. but my junior class won best og!! now my throat hurts for screaming too much yesterday.

watched the louis koo show yesterday also. so not nice and fell asleep halfway. didnt get to eat prata/frog yesterday. ))): 3 months never eat frog already!!!!

gonna eat prata when thing comes back!!! (((: 1 more week! (((: